We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
