Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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