AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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