if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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