I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
