He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
