So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
