I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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