would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
