i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
