first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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