And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i drank out of a bidet.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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