You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so explain again why im purple
no
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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