Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
