I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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