Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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