HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
