You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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