yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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