am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
