boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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