I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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