can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
is it fun? or sober?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
