she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
