Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
