you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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