I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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