turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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