well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
