oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize