you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
