Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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