you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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