He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize