she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
