Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
