Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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