just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize