sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
