You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
