It's Friday. Sex?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
