She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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