Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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