That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
