I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
