I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
