what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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