dude i'm inner monologue high
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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