Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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