My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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