They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
