I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize