I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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