You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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